Things I wonder while waiting for the nurses to bring me the death notification book
The rain is falling heavy on this metallic warehouse roof. It's 8pm. We have to raise our voices to be heard above the watery clamour. The rain is falling heavy on this metallic warehouse roof. This roof that keeps the rain out and the virus in. Its 11pm. The machines have to beep louder to … Continue reading Night shift
DCIM\100GOPRO\GOPR9250.JPG There is something in the air down here; in the Garden Route. Take a drive with me along the N2 and you will see. It's alive. You can feel it in your bones. It's the kind of something that makes you want to roll down your windows, turn up your radio and breathe. One … Continue reading There is something in the air down here
I was supposed to be an overachiever. You know, one of those doctors who finish community service and go straight into a registrar post and become a specialist at age 32, then a prof before 40! Instead, I am edging closer and closer to 30 and working in a warehouse on a contract basis that … Continue reading Average achiever
There is a light somewhere. It may not be much light but it beats the darkness.Charles Bukowski In December I wrote a post about humanity and it's brokenness. I said that I really want to believe that humans are inherently good, but the current state of the affairs is making that incredibly difficult to do … Continue reading Sunlight
I want to write a poem but I can't even think straight. I want to write a poem but I don't know where to start. Do I write about my day? My day without water or food or the chance to catch my breath (figuratively). Or do I write about my patients who cannot catch … Continue reading If 1.6 million lives lost won’t convince them then what will one poem do?
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.Martin Luther King, Jr It is December 2020 and our world is a mess. It feels like this whole year has been lost to this pandemic. Yet case numbers continue to rise, and people continue to believe/pretend that this virus is not real … Continue reading The biggest driver of this pandemic is ignorance
On Friday I spent the afternoon in a tug of war. On one side were me and my colleagues and on the other was whatever happens after you die. The Light, heaven, hell, nothing, I don't know? I just know that it was a tug of war between life and death, and life lost. In … Continue reading Tug of war
In January this year, I found myself staring at a CT scan with a group of people in white coats. This is a pretty normal thing for a doctor to be doing; except I was in Mexico and the CT scan was my own, and I was wearing a hospital gown instead of a white … Continue reading The lessons that being a patient taught me about being a doctor
He is so thin, I think. Emaciated, I write. But what does that mean? "Skeletal" "Gaunt" "Shrunken" "Shrivelled". "Emaciare" is the Latin: "Made thin" I think it means if you don't look close enough you might not see him. You might not see beyond his disease. HIV, TB, malnutrition, starvation, poverty, oppression, suffering. Hopelessness. An … Continue reading Made thin.